Passions

Passions are a part of each of our lives. Its what we LOVE to do, its what we feel like we were purposed to do, its what we put so much time and effort into.

Passions can be misused and misled. You can have a passion for the youth and to see their souls saved, but while trying to reach out and relate, you could start to become part of the world you're trying to pull them out of.

I have a passion for the youth. I loved every minute being in front of the youth and reaching out to them. God gave me a special gift to be able to reach the youth. And while teaching the youth, I learned a lot myself. In fact, I've learned a lot about the time when I fervently served God.

It really hurts to think back to that time - back in 2004-2005. Things happened, I got angry, and I left the church I was at. I feel like I left the youth hanging when we had built up trust. I cry about that decision I made. It breaks my heart. And I also let that decision break my soul.

But, I look back and am able to point out what went wrong. The focus started going from God to me. In a very selfish act that was unrecognized by me at the time, I tried to take glory for the things that God and ONLY God could and did do.

I became part of the world that I tried to help pull these lost kids out of.

I lost my passion in life.

And here I am 4 years later - now a wife and mother - feeling the passion stir within me.

I can't say that this is my time, no. A friend of a friend pointed out that when we want to start movements, we never do.

I've learned this to be true. When I want to be great, I never am. When I want to be artistic, I fail. When I want to write, nothing comes out that makes sense. But when I let go and let God, that's when it happens.

It does not suprise me that I have talked my way back to the subject of letting go.

Everything happens on God's time, not ours.

And, that, makes for a peaceful closure for a blog. :)